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Everything You Know About Self-care is Wrong

Updated: Aug 16

Finally putting an end to the the debate about what is considered self-care and what isn't


It seems like everyone is talking about self-care these days, both on and offline. I mean that’s what this whole blog is about. The conversation can be solely focused on one thing however in reality, self-care is more than just one thing. Conducting trusted research on the subject can actually send you down a quite confusing rabbit hole and 20,000 ads deeps into skin-care products. Don’t we love those! While there are so many different types of self-care practices, in this blog I’ll break down:

  • The definition of self-care

  • Why practicing self-care is so important

  • What practicing self-care is and isn’t

So what is “self-care” anyways?

I’ll skip over the fancy jargon and just explain that self-care is defined as someone’s voluntary actions towards their physical, mental, and their overall happiness. Practicing self-care can improve someone’s mood and even their professional careers as they would perform more efficiently in the workplace. London Psychologist, Agnes Wainman best explains self-care as “something that refuels us rather than takes from us.” In other words if it doesn’t make you happy, it ain’t for you, PERIOD.


Why is self-care so important

You’ve probably heard the saying “ how can you love anyone if you don’t love yourself?” Self-care is about loving yourself, flaws, and all and working on those flaws. Having a positive relationship with yourself mentally and physically can nurture your self-esteem and have a positive impact on those around you. It can be so hard to navigate life without a sense of direction, especially when you were never given the instruction manual on life and adulting. Self-care is important because it allows you to reflect on your present and plan for your future. Let’s dive in first to what does not constitute as self-care.

What self-care isn’t

First and Foremost it's not selfish. Self-care is unlike the pile of dishes after a big family dinner. They do challenge you in a way but only to be open-minded, creative, goal-oriented, and healthy. Self-care is not about suffering in silence while you engage in activities you detest. As a matter of fact, the many ways to practice self-care means that women, men, and children alike can find the right self-care routine for themselves and do the things they truly enjoy.

For example, you may be someone who is looking to improve your health by eating right and working out. However, you may also be the person who hates running. It absolutely does not mean that you have to give up on the idea completely, it means that you have to find ways to workout that you love rather than dread. For many, that’s purchasing a bike and taking afternoon rides. It’s super peaceful and you get to work out while you are doing it. Other alternatives may be yoga, twerk classes, dance classes, boxing, etc… Nothing about self-care is supposed to be painful.


Finally, What Self-care is in Fact


The truth is


Self-care is self-love

Self-care is actually pretty simple and not at all the time-consuming task many believe it to be. Think of it as you putting that little voice in your head telling you to eat better but then you actively listening to that voice. Make sense? Okay great! My job here is done!


Self-care is about taking into account your goals, needs, and creating a lifestyle that meets those needs. What is most important to know about self-care is that it starts within you. This blog, social media, your friends, and life coach can only suggest the many ways to take control of your life, strategies and how to improve your life through self-care. But until you listen to that voice and put in the work you’ll just have the occasional great morning of skin-care and a calendar full of things you’ll never do or look at again.


Now that it’s been defined, let’s hear your assumptions about self-care before this post and if you are ready to start loving yourself again?

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Do It For Yourself (Guided Journal): A Motivational Journal