Are You Jealous of Your Friend? Must Read!
Does experiencing jealous thoughts make you a bad friend? And should you end the relationship all together?
Friendships like romantic relationships require work and honesty. So when your best friend got her promotion or got engaged to her three-year boyfriend, naturally you are completely happy for them but the little devil on the left popped up with jealous and envious thoughts to stray you away. Are you necessarily a bad friend? No, I mean not technically. Without any excuses for your feelings, you have to let yourself process them rather than stare at her new engagement ring like it’s the last piece of the birthday cake. So did you honestly mean “I am happy for you“ or “I secretly hope they fire you “ LOL, here’s how to avoid feelings of jealousy in a friendship and fight those feelings head on?
1. Ask Yourself Exactly What Triggered This Feeling
So what happened to your Bestie that made you retract to jealousy and envy? Many times those feelings come from us never dealing with certain interpersonal issues that later causes us to lash out in other emotional ways, especially towards the ones we love the most. If your best friend is getting married, for example, your feelings of jealousy could be a reflection of your fear of separation between the both of you. Question your situation, and ask yourself the hard questions. And be absolutely honest with yourself, because no one else is here to listen or judge.
2. Say Them Aloud
Yikes! This is a hard one for sure but have you ever said something out loud and realize just… How ridiculous you were being to begin with? I know right! “I am jealous of my friend because she has it all” sounds weird AF when you say it out loud! You either cry because we haven’t gotten into step three yet or literally die laughing. But let it out! Don’t just confront this feeling internally, say it out loud and give it life right before you kill it
externally! The longer you hold onto it, the worse it gets. So do NOT, I repeat do
NOT, let it have power over you or your friendship.
3. But What Makes YOU Awesome?
No really, what’s it about you that is amazing and beautiful, and dare I say jealous worthy? Being envious is just you demonstrating a sign of deep insecurities. But being insecure itself is just your inability to see the power that rests within you. Legit question! Have you practice self-love lately? Because the absence of self-love is where negativity, envy, jealousy and insecurity, and instability lie. Take the time to find out what your own journey has brought you thus far and where you plan on going. Make a list of 100+ accomplishments ever and love yourself queen! Do not project your insecurities onto your friend, they deserve better.
4. How Much is The Friendship Worth to You?
The phrase blind of jealousy speaks truth and volume. Often times negative emotions lead us to say, feel or act in ways outside of our norm. Before you know it, a friendship thicker than blood ends faster than barbecue chicken at a Saturday barbecue. Both really sad instances. It’s not just how long you’ve been friends but also consider just how much you guys have been through before that very moment. Before you say or do anything that will hurt you both, consider what you will lose instead. If it is much greater than what you had to say then shut up!
5. One… Two… Three… Truth!
Here comes the hopefully not so awkward part. If this is the kind of friend you love and you know you can trust… consider just explaining to them how you felt. Keyword felt. Now that you have worked on the steps alone, heal from this experience by being honest with him or her. It cannot harm the relationship any more than it would help it grow. In many cases, this friend may help you see things you could not see for yourself before. My advice? Grab some mimosas by the pool and tan it out with your Bestie!
In many cases real queens recognize real queens! Celebrate the queen in you every day so that you can be honest, emotionally, physically, and mentally available to celebrate your own friends. All relationships have their own ups and downs but it’s up to each individual to do the work. Yes, it is hard AF to admit. But if you want the kind of friendship like Saweetie and Doja Cat had in “Best Friend” then you are going to have to do better than that! #ThatsOnPowerMoves